


Chasing Ghosts

by VeganGrounderKru



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Depression, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Self-Harm, i broke my own heart writing this, monty is a mess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-21
Updated: 2015-12-21
Packaged: 2018-05-08 04:12:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5482877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VeganGrounderKru/pseuds/VeganGrounderKru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place on the day they get back from Mt. Weather. Miller makes sure Monty knows he's here for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chasing Ghosts

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic and english isn't my first language. I apologize if I used any words wrong or if the text doesn't make sense sometimes. Please tell me when you find any mistakes. Thank you! 
> 
> Title is from The Amity Affliction - Chasing Ghosts

“Hey Monty, can I come in?“, Miller was standing in front of the tent’s entrance, his hand already gripping the curtain ready to pull it aside and enter. He could hear his friend (actually crush, but that seemed rather inappropriate in the light of recent events) sucking in his breath. Miller could picture Monty sitting on a makeshift bed, wiping tears from his eyes, snot from his nose and trying to steady his breathing. Just thinking about it broke his heart and he wished nothing more than to wrap him into his arms and be able to make it all go away. The reply came shortly after and Miller could hear how much effort it must have taken to make his voice sound so steady “Oh yeah sure”. 

When he walked in, Monty was standing next to his bed, hands wrapped around himself. It’s been a few hours since they came back and he had changed into fresh clothes, once that didn’t feel like they had blood on them despite there never having been any. At least not physically. Just like the wound of committing genocide was inside of his head.

“I…look..I just want you to know that I’m here for you. No matter what, okay? I don’t know how you feel and I’ll not pretend that I do, but if you want to talk to someone about anything, even if it’s just, I don’t know, the colour of the sky, you can talk to me. Or if you need a hug? Okay I’m rambling but, I just want you to know that I’m here for you. You’re not alone Monty”. He made a point to look at him while saying the last sentence. Monty just nodded and wiped the sleeve of his sweater over his eyes. Miller’s heart shattered into a thousand tiny pieces. Remembering their jokes and conversations, sometimes slightly awkward because they were sitting closer to each other than necessary, inside Mt. Weather. Nathan took a deep breath and quickly closed the distance between them and hugged Monty tightly. At first he was unresponsive in his arms but then he could feel his weight on his chest as he was leaning on him. Burying his head in the fabric of Nathan’s t-shirt. Rubbing Monty’s back, Miller wished he could tell him that he was going to be okay. But he didn’t know and wasn’t so sure in this moment if these kind of scars ever healed. Especially when inflicted on the mind of a 15-year-old boy. When Monty started sobbing, Miller could feel something tugging at his heart and chest. It was like somebody was trying to suffocate him with a rope, his throat was on fire. He couldn’t do anything but hold Monty and say “Shh, I’m here, I got you” as he fell apart in his embrace. Eventually, Monty calmed down and pulled away. He took a few steps back to gain some personal space. “Thanks Nate, sorry, but could you leave now? I just need to be alone for now.” “Of course. Oh, I’ll be staying inside Alpha station with my dad. So if you ever need anything our place is the one on the left at the end of the corridor.”

When night came around, Miller couldn’t sleep. Despite knowing for the first time in days that he was safe and his father still alive. He tossed and turned, the thought of Monty all alone in the tent not leaving his mind. His gut kept telling him that something was wrong and his brain wouldn’t shut up either. Not being able to ignore the feeling any longer, he got out of bed and pulled on a pair of combat trousers and shoes. Just as he was outside of his room, David Miller came out of his room. “Where are you going? It’s in the middle of the night.”

“I’m going to check up on Monty”, with that he started outside the “flat”.

The entire way was blurred and suddenly he stood in Monty’s tent. He didn’t even bother to ask or stop before storming in. Monty was sitting with his back against the bed. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up and there were cuts on his right wrist that definitely needed to be treated in medical. With his left hand he was clutching a knife. Miller could feel the panic rising up in him as he slowly started to understand the situation. Slowly he walked over to Monty, kneeling down in front of him touching his left hand. “Monty, you need to give me that knife, okay? Please?” Monty’s face lacked any kind of emotion, he just looked empty and distant. “Mon, listen to me. I don’t know what you feel. But I can tell you that you still deserve better than this. You’re not evil, or a monster or whatever else you think you are. You had to choose between two extremes and you, Bell and Clarke took the one that saved our people. You are not a bad person, but our life here doesn’t leave any space for innocence. It’s not your fault.” 

The silence that followed his words was heavy. Like a weight that pulled them both under water. Once he was able to take the knife and throw it to the other side of the tent, he pulled Monty into a standing position. It was only now that Miller noticed that he was shaking. “Can you walk?” all he got was Monty pulling away his arm that was draped around Millers shoulders and a little nod.


End file.
